[10/30] Productivity
I used to be a productivity nerd.
Okay, I still sort of am — that’s the tech-y side of me, the part that loves tinkering with systems. But when it comes to productivity, I’ve dialed it back.
Back when Notion and Obsidian first came out, my YouTube history was full of:
“How to build the ultimate system”
“The note-taking method you’re not using”
“How to use Notion to 10x your productivity”
It was all about squeezing every drop from every hour. And I was hooked. It was a productivity addiction.
And like any addiction, the systems worked. I was way more productive. And I wanted more. There had to be more things I could be doing. Why 10x when you can 100x or even 1000x. I started to put my entire life in a productivity system.
I lived by my calendar: meet friends, work, dinner, gym, one hour of games, one hour of reading, sleep. Like clockwork, even when I didn’t want to. And when I couldn't make it, I’d stay up late to catch up because sleep wasn't scheduled on my calendar.
I thought I was doing the right thing. After all, Productivity channels made it sound like every unscheduled minute was wasted. Rest was fine, as long as it was blocked on the calendar.
Then I spent a month back home in Malaysia. If you've ever gone back to a childhood home just to be with family, you will know that there is no such things as plans. Just “wake up and see what happens” days. I’d never felt so anxious.
Day 1 was just anxiety at not doing anything. Day 2-10 was less anxious and more boring. Then, I started to enjoy it. I started to read again. I learned to play pool. I had long conversations with my dad about work and Chinese tea. I realized Malaysia had so many good things I’d never noticed. Like the almost 24/7 influx of amazing food.
When I came back, I barely recognized my productivity system. It felt foreign. Like I’d been running a race where I was both the winner and the loser. How could I put myself through that. I was more productive but at what cost ?
I didn’t dismantle everything, but I stripped a lot away. I gave myself more breathing room. If something runs over, I don’t stress. My mindset now is:
Things will finish when they’re ready to finish.
I only adopt this mindset because I know I work hard. And I actually need help doing less, not more. It wasn't an excuse to stop working but a reminder than there are other things in life worth doing.