[14/30] Problems

Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded

— Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

It’s a variation of the Stoic idea that the world just happens and we will always have problems regardless of where we are in life. Then our choice is actually how we interpret or respond to those problems. Which is always easier said than done most of the time.

My biggest discomfort right now is work. I have been working late nights and some weekends for a few months now. I was really angry when it first started, then I grew numb to it. Mostly because I can't find a reason why it's worth it.

I don’t want a promotion if it means more stress. I’m not learning anything I want to learn. There are better ways to deliver value with the team than burning myself out on this project.

And yet, here I am at 2:00 a.m., staring at my computer because of, “You’re the only one that can deliver this,” or, “This project is important to the company, so please help us.”

Meanwhile, I’ll happily spend hours buried in my own “work”. Writing for my newsletter, creating LinkedIn posts, tweaking my website, etc. Both are hard work, but only one feels meaningful.

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”

― Victor Frankl

It took me awhile to understand this but most of my frustrations at work come from a lack of meaning. I’ve lost faith in the 9–5 as a path toward my own goals. Spending more time and energy on it feels even more pointless. Like I am gathering carnival cash that disappears after I step out.

Strangely, this realization has made me less frustrated. If the 9–5 isn’t my endgame, I can choose when to work hard for them and when to save my energy for myself. It’s given me clarity and some self-reasoning. if I work late, it’s because there’s a strong reason not just because someone higher up said so.