[18/30] Work

Not in the “I own a business” or “I do something one-of-a-kind” sense. More like, I work in between industries and am always being pulled to one or another. It’s called computational design, and it’s kind of like software development… but not really.

First, you need to understand geometry, things like meshes, surfaces, curves. Then you need to be able to script or visually program those geometries using tools like Grasshopper. And finally, you do all this in service of an industry. For me, that’s the AEC: Architecture, Engineering, and Construction.

There are others that do computational design for jewelry, product design (like shoes or speakers), even game environments. It’s a weird, fascinating niche. Some of the problems I get to solve are incredible and I am really proud of the work I do.

But it’s also confusing. Well, no, it's confusing as hell. Most companies don’t know how to categorize us, pay us, or evaluate our work. There’s no benchmark to compare us to.

I have been dealing with that uncertainty since graduating. Because people don't know how to value us, we tend to get pulled back into conventional jobs. I have my company "encouraging" me to be a structural engineer when there are no computational jobs to do. On the other hand, my inner critic tells me I should go all-in on becoming a better software developer, except I’m not a pure developer, and improving those skills doesn’t necessarily make my work easier.

It creates this constant friction, what should I actually be doing with my career?

Some days, I see the value I bring and love every second of it. Other days, I wish it wasn’t all so undefined.

My answer to this so far is that I don't have to know. I don't have to know what niche I belong to or what I do for work. That’s why I’ve leaned into doing things that matter to me. Like writing, starting my newsletter, and trying to figure out how to own my time. I have no idea how they would fit in my future but they feel important to me now.

The next few years might still be foggy. But as long as I don’t get complacent and keep doing the work, I think I’ll find my way.