[26/30] No One Knows What They Are Doing

I have been "pretending" to be structural engineer for the past few weeks.

The team's swamped, so I've been helping with work outside my usual expertise. I'm a computational designer, not a structural engineer. Sure, I can help because I’ve got some experience but not enough to be making structural decisions alone, especially when mistakes can be costly.

It was hard getting started. No one seemed to be worried about the model. I didn’t know what to do when things went wrong, and everyone was too busy for me to just ask questions on the spot.

My model wasn’t solving and I didn't know why.

Oh, we use metal tubes. Will making it bigger solve our problem ?

Maybe I should try a thicker tube

How about a square tube ?

I really had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to get the model to solve. It was really upsetting. Because I didn't know what to look for. and I felt stupid.

But then I finally got a call back from the lead engineer. The idea was to fix this model together and give me some direction.

The first thing he asked me was "did you try a thicker tube?"

I laughed. I wasn’t upset anymore. It reminded me that no matter how senior we get, most of us are still figuring things out. Yes, I know, it’s a bit hippy-dippy.

But it was a good reminder not to take myself so seriously. I know I don't have to know everything. But you'd think that a few years of experience and you have this expectation that work shouldn't be uncomfortable but being uncomfortable is part of learning.

And even though I’m a computational designer, stepping into a structural engineer’s shoes every now and then isn’t such a bad thing.

But It was a reminder to not take myself so seriously sometimes. That I don't have to know everything. That even though I am computational designer, doing some structural engineering every now and then isn’t a bad thing.